It's been a tragic time. Watching the news yesterday required a far amount of fortitude. The awful slaying and maiming of innocent people in Tunisia, France and Kuwait has been hard to watch, even from afar.
Already we have had a lot of talk about the 10th anniversary of 7/7. Lot's of people who were bereaved then or hurt and injured whether physically or psychologically are already preparing for the hurt to come crashing over them again because anniversaries are always painful. Then we have this happening on top
10 years ago on 7/7 I spent the night with a friend in Derby. She was dying and I had been supporting her for a couple of years. It was to prove to be the last time I saw my friend. I came back the next day. I was alone on the only train that came into London. Once I got back I then discovered there was no London transport. The streets were eerily silent. I had people on the end of my mobile trying to help me navigate my way through the streets. Every time I thought I was getting close to where I wanted to be there would be a police cordon blocking my way. What should have been a couple of miles turned into a mammoth hike. My pain was nothing compared to the victims.
When my daughter was little I got her a t-shirt from a festival I was at that said "Why should I tidy up my room when the world is in a mess?" It can feel like that for all of us. We may be adults but we just don't know what to do when ISOL seems to be creating so much fear and destruction. When austerity measures target the poor more harshly than the rich. When the Eurozone seems so uncertain.
It can all feel too much and then what happens is we turn on each other or blame those who are blameless and that plays right into the hands of those with power or the terrorists. People often ask priests to speak out at times of national sadness or to make sense of difficult situations. That's one of the most challenging things about public office so please accept my humble thoughts as a way of looking at these horrors but not feeling totally impotent in how we tackle them.
Earlier I was in discussion about some complex issues. A young woman who was very troubled ended up having sex with her boyfriends father. She was only 15/16. Her uncle found out and went mad at the girl and went round to the blokes house to punch his lights out. This man that had inappropriately had sex, as far as I'm concerned, filled the uncles head with lies saying that the girl was wild and it was all because of the abuse she had suffered at her own fathers hands. When the uncle went back to the girl and started questioning her about it, he was kinder and less mad at her. She went along with the lie to keep him off her back and before she knew it, it had got out of hand. It created a horrible problem in the girls family and was years before she admitted the truth. 10 years on the family are all ok with each other and have worked through their issues. the vulnerable teenager has turned into a well adjusted and confident young woman. Some stories do have a happy ending.
Why on earth have I told you all that? Many people would be looking at the girls behaviour and thinking how despicable it is. While I do not condone what she did, she was a minor. How many of you have already forgotten about her boyfriends dad? That man groomed a vulnerable teenager while she was away from home on holiday. Not only did he groom her, he then had sex with her despite being over twice her age. His final act of sabotage on this young woman's life was to tell the lie that further estranged her from her family and took the heat completely off him. Abusers are so clever and know how to manipulate people. We have to be aware of that and be more clever. That young woman just needed to feel safe enough and loved enough to admit the great big hole she dug for herself by going along with the "abusers" lie.
Time and time again I hear people bagging out Muslims because of the actions of terrorists. When I was a kid it was Christians blowing each other to pieces and shooting each other. I don't accept that those people were Christian who used violence and fear and intimidation in that way. They were just violent thugs. What would Jesus do and what did he do? His ministry was all about love and releasing people from tyranny peacefully. Islam is also a peaceful religion. It is profoundly sad that these terrorists are not seen in the same way as the Catholics and the Protestants but that instead all Muslims are tarred with the same brush.
The young woman I was talking about is also indicative of the young people that leave the UK to go and fight for ISOL. They have been groomed by an abuser. They have been fed a pack of lies and had their vulnerabilities exploited. Maybe some of them are living with too much harshness in their lives. maybe too much pressure or maybe it's just because they are young and impressionable.
It's an awful situation and again takes us back to my daughters t-shirt why should we care when tidying up our room is miniscule compared to the rest of the world. The thing is I was an abused child and I know the difference that people reaching out in love can make. It could have so easily been different story. I could have totally gone off the rails because of my vulnerability. I was lucky I met the right people at the right time and they made an enormous difference to my life. I in turn am trying to repay the favour. I try to make a little bit of difference. The name of my blog comes from that "where angels fear to tread" That's because I never back out of horrible situations. If someone needs me to hold their hand and offer them some love I will. Fortunately I have a never ending supply as I ask God to channel that agape love through me because I couldn't do it all on my own.
There is a poem I love and it sums up my ministry. If all of us had this pinned up in our houses and tried to run our houses along these lines I think the world would be a better place. Sure horrible things will still happen, like loved ones getting cancer, and tragic accidents and even terror attacks but there will be less broken people around because every time something awful happens an angel will turn up to help.
I hope these jumbled thoughts and random bringing together of different events encourages a few more angels to develop their wings.
This blog is dedicated to all who lost their lives in yesterdays atrocities and to all who mourn their loss
Here is that poem
A People Place
If this is not a place where tears are understood,
Where do I go to cry?
If this is not a place where my spirits can take wing,
Where do I go to fly?
If this is not a place where my questions can be asked,
Where do I go to seek?
If this is not a place where my feelings can be heard,
Where do I go to speak?
If this is not a place where you’ll accept me as I am,
Where can I go to be?
If this is not a place where I can try to learn and grow,
Where can I be just me?
If this is not a place where tears are understood,
Where do I go to cry?
If this is not a place where my spirits can take wing,
Where do I go to fly?
If this is not a place where my questions can be asked,
Where do I go to seek?
If this is not a place where my feelings can be heard,
Where do I go to speak?
If this is not a place where you’ll accept me as I am,
Where can I go to be?
If this is not a place where I can try to learn and grow,
Where can I be just me?
William J Crockett
